Rob "Mr. Ironic" Riggle

(((Rob Riggle; The Daily Show; Budweiser; Advertisements; Shilling; Major brewer horse-hockey)))

Okay, I remember Budweiser being the only brand I knew to brag in a TV advertisement about the quality of the rice they put in their beer. Unfortunately, that spot seems not to be available on YouTube, unlike some of the Rob Riggle ads I'm about to bitch about. I just saw on CrookedTimber, of all places, a baroque defense of the use of rice in beer, one point of which was that Sapporo and Kirin do it, too . . . riiiight, the Japanese putting rice in something; that's crazy!

Anyway, here's Rob Riggle shilling for Bud. Okay, never mind that no other Daily Show "Senior Correspondent" of anything has to my recollection done a beer ad, or a car ad, or whatever. Forget also that here was right in the middle of the writer's strike doing just fine, thanks to our friends at Anheuser-Busch.

All of that I noted. But whatever. We can let that go.

It was when, in one of said ads, he made this bizarre and misleading claim that the dark colors of certain "foreign" beers can "mask imperfections." Whereas Bud, since you could get a rainbow out of it as if it were a prism, is clearly . . . what? The ad never says. Perfect? Not imperfect? Fucking awesome?

So basically, the argument is two-fold. First, you shouldn't trust a foreign beer. Nice work, Ironic Rob, whose irony comes full circle in an ad like that. Second, don't trust beers that are "too" dark, because they're, you know, shady. Dark. Deceptive. Trying to trick you with their darkness. Because, you know, dark malts are used in beers to hide flaws. That's why I always used dark malts in my brewing. It had nothing to do with the fact that I was making a porter or a stout. I was afraid of screwing up my porter or stout, so, yeah, dark malts.

God I hate capitalism. Yeah, blah blah progressive blah blah Marx thought so too blah blah. But how can anyone with a good conscience do this? And frankly, how can Jon Stewart watch it and still employ Rob Riggle? Maybe he's under contract or something. But at least I'm not the only one who thinks these ads are crap.